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Struggling to find someone who is dating material?
Well, just try online dating! Everyone online is nice and accepting after all…
Finding people to date where I grew up was a lot like that song by the Dixie Chicks. If you looked all around the town, all you’d find was Earl.
Since I wasn’t into Earl, I naturally started looking into the possibilities of online dating for fat people like people.
Now, there are lots of communities/dating sites aimed at overweight people. However, the majority of them are operations that are simply meant to prey on fat people’s insecurities and the fetishes that others have about fat people.
For example, one of the sites I was looking at while writing this article has two main demographics that used it: 18-24 year old overweight girls, and men over 55. Not exactly the kind of place I’d want my daughter to hang out.
However, there are some really amazing options that have proven to be very effective at helping plus size people find dates and an eventual spouse/companion.
We’ll get into it in much greater detail below, but if you are interested in looking into our top choices on your own, here our top recommendations: (Spoiler: it’s probably a site you’ve heard of and don’t expect…)
So, if you are plus size and looking to get into online dating you really have two options: choose a dating site meant specifically for bigger people, or find a site that has a large enough user base that you’ll be able to find a perfect match. After all, with around 40% of the U.S. population classified as obese, a site with millions of members should have hundreds of thousands of potential options for you!
The obvious solution here is to sign up for both sites. One of the main problems with online dating is that people simply run out of profiles that fit their criteria. Joining both sites we recommend is a great way to make sure you have the best (and most) options available.
Before we get there, however, there’s something I want to talk about. It’s not a fun topic and you may not agree with my opinion, but here we go:
Plus Size Dating: Relationships vs. Fat Worship
I don’t really mind if people who know me hate me. I try not to be hate-able but everyone is different. However, it really gets to me when people who have never met me judge me or hate me simply based on my size.
While it might seem more attractive, being loved simply because of your body (and nothing else) is just as bad. Many sites that masquerade as plus size dating sites are actually fat worship sites. Meaning you’ll mostly find overweight women who are starving for attention and average size men who have a fetish for plus size women.
I’m not saying that everyone who is into online dating should be looking for a forever partner or that you can’t be appreciated physically, but remember, you are much more than the size of your body. If you need some validation for your size and a confidence boost, there are safer ways to do it than finding someone who has no interest in your individuality or the fact that you are more than just chubby.
For a bit more, be sure to check out our article: Actually, you are your body: and your body is amazing.
The Top Dating Sites for Plus Size People: My Reviews
eHarmony Review (for plus size people)
If you’ve heard of online dating, you’ve probably heard of eHarmony. Their matching software spits out over 15 million matches per day and over 600,000 people have met and married their spouse because of it.
What you might not know though is that that eHarmony is one of the best dating sites for fat women and men where you can meet fat singles for anything from friendship, to dating, to romance, to marriage.
The reason that eHarmony is so good is that, not only do they advocate long-term meaningful connections, but they have a bazillion members and they offer some awesome tools to help you filter your options and find someone that you really match with. This allows you to avoid the embarrassment of finding profile after profile of interesting people only to be rebuffed simply because you’re plus size.
The other reason that eHarmony is an excellent plus size dating site is simply because of its huge user base. If I showed you 29,000,000 people do you think you could find someone who you loved and love you in return? That’s eHarmony.
eHarmony vs. a Dating Site Specifically for Fat People
If you join a dating site meant specifically for fat people your options are limited right off the bat. You have a much smaller pool in which to find your potential match. Couple this with the fact that smaller sites often have inferior resources and matchmaking algorithms and you’re not set-up for success.
Expecting to find love only on a dating site for fat people is like expecting to find someone on a dating site for people with brown hair because you have brown hair. Having a similar body size is not enough.
eHarmony’s advanced matching algorithm will match you with people that you can connect with regardless of size which, at the end of the day, is what we’re all after.
The majority of eHarmony users are between 25 and 44 years of age. Because of this age range and the complex matching, most members are not looking for casual encounters and are ready to find someone to enjoy life with.
Free vs. Paid
The majority of eHarmony members do not pay anything. Without paying anything you can view full profiles, send winks, and ask people questions from a list. This should be enough to get you going and see if the site if right for you. After all, what have you got to lose? It’s free and you might just find the love of your life!
My Verdict on eHarmony as a Fat Dating Site
Quite simply, it’s the best there is. The matches that they give you will save you a ton of headache and heartache. They have 20x as many users than the fat-specific dating sites we looked at. With more than 40% of the population classified as obese, there are actually more plus-size people on eHarmony that on any BBW dating site for fat women or men. So if you’re serious about finding someone, sign up! Otherwise, let’s check out one other option.
Backup Option: LargeFriends
If you want a site that caters only to large people and their admirers, there are several options. The problem is that most of them don’t have a user base that is large enough to provide quality matches. Not to mention that most of the “admirers” are there for less than honorable reasons.
LargeFriends is one of the exceptions to that problem. It isn’t the oldest or largest fat dating site but it’s one that has been on our radar simply because of its reputation. It is one of the few sites aimed at big men and women that is modest in its advertising and image (meaning they always use clothed models and advocated real connections and relationships).
Who uses LargeFriends?
The gender and age base of large friends is unusually diverse. Many dating sites for fat women and men (especially free bbw dating sites) have a vastly uneven gender age mix. Meaning everyone is an old man. LargeFriends, on the other hand, has fairly even gender distribution (there are slightly more men) and the age range falls generally in the mid 20’s to mid 40’s with the majority between 25 and 34.
However, it’s not just people who are large themselves that want to meet fat singles on LargeFriends. You can also expect to find “admirers” of both big women and men on the site.
Free or paid?
While it’s not a totally free site, LargeFriends is one of the best free fat dating sites for the services it offers. Free members are able to upload photos, browse, send winks, and more. Messaging, however, is a premium feature so when you find someone you like and you want to set up something more serious, you’ll need to upgrade your account to a paid option. (Create an account and check the prices here)
The Verdict of our LargeFriends Review
In short, large friends is a legit site for curvy women and big guys. While I do wish that new members had some access to a messaging feature, the upgrade prices are very affordable. After all, with the huge number of members on the site, the question becomes, are you willing to pay a bit of money every month to go on dates and find your soul mate? Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be?
I hope one of those was helpful for you! In case you missed it, eHarmony is the better option and the one I recommend. It has more users (more plus-size people), has a better matching algorithm, and is much more likely to find you a date tonight! (no guarantees though…)
Before you take off, I’ve got a few tips for you that will help you (hopefully) land more than just a few dates, not matter which site you choose.
How to Be Successful Online Dating as a Fat Person (5 Tips)
1. Join Multiple Sites
The more sites you are a member of, the higher your chances of success. Not every dating site will be a good fit for you and, just because you’re plus-size, doesn’t mean you’ll feel at home on a fat dating site. I would highly recommend joining both the above sites as a free member first to see if you like the layout and feel of the site before committing.
2. Don’t think of yourself as a fat person.
As fat people, we face more than our fair share of rudeness and unpleasantries. Unfortunately, many people who are big and heavy accept this as normal and are happy for whatever love and attention they can glean from people. Don’t settle for that.
You are not a “fat-person.” You are simply a person and do no deserve anything less than anyone else. It pains me that this is even a point here. However, even on a fat dating site, you will meet people (who may be big themselves) who will insult you or expect favors from you simply because they are “willing to befriend you.” Don’t deal with their crap. You are worth more. Report them and move on.
3. Make the first move.
If you’re interested in someone, make the move!
Getting rejected on a dating site is no big deal. If someone isn’t interested, they will typically just not message back. Way less awkward than in real life.
If you’re a curvy lady, the thing that will make a site the best dating site for fat women is your willingness to message first. Men rarely receive messages first and, if you are willing to go on the hunt, you will have more dates than you know what to do with!
4. Thick Thighs + Thick Skin = Win
What would you be willing to go through to find your true love?
Would you let 50 random strangers tell you they weren’t interested if you got to meet the perfect person afterward? Well, that’s what’s going on online!
Some people simply will not be interested in you because of your size. Big deal. Lots of them will be so if they’re not for you, move on. You wouldn’t want to be with something that rude and shallow anyway…
5. Be safe.
Above all, the most important thing about online dating is to stay safe. Any legit dating site for big people will protect your privacy and emphasize the importance of keeping yourself out of dangerous situations. For more info, check out this article on staying safe in online dating.
So, all in all, I hope I’ve been able to give you some hope and direction! If you want to meet fat singles, online is the place to do it. My wife and I met online and have been happily married for 5 years now. Believe me, it’s worth it. So go sign up! You have nothing to lose but your loneliness!